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**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 123903 10-01-2012 05:37 PM

You want to do.. and only 34 years old. I spend 99.99 percent of my time in front of my computer or sleeping.
I only go out when absolutely necessary..and even the thought of having to go to a social function.. shopping.. etc. just getting in my car for any reason whatsoever..makes me feel sick to my stomach.
First of all .. everyday life.. interactions..etc. are all mind numbingly boring, and dull.
But now I'm to the point where it even scares me a little to have to go out.
Im a university grad.. was in a fraternity.. used to be all of the things that "society" expects, but it has slowly started to change over the last few years.
I have given up on everything I used to have hope in.. getting a decent job.. a wife, kids, house and all of that.
Everything that I was having to go through, and everything it took from me to try to obtain these "things" in my mid 20's to 32 or so.. or about the last 8 years..Has made me realize that the pain of the work to get it.. isn't worth it. 40 hour weeks of slave labor, unbearable labor, in front of a computer, in a cubicle was enough to make me want to kill myself. Tried sales.. hated that. Then dealing with people in general, includeing bosses, started to get more agonizing to try and do. I am feeling hopeless at this point.. and ready to give up on life in general. The most recent girl I dated.. was a few years younger than me.. and started getting defensive when I tried to "awaken" her a bit.. nothing too aggressive even but she started to get nasty w me when I would just mention something as simple as the direction of our economy..etc.
I think I'm giving up on women..at least for the forseeable future..but
the main thing is life in general.
Is it possible to ever feel good about anything again. Has anyone ever come out of a situation like this..and lived to tell about it??

**Dissonant Cog**

You call it depression, I call it something else.
Welcome to the club.

Are you shy? Do you hide 'you' or play at 'acceptable' when ' out there'?
If you were going out to the countryside on your own where there would be no people, would you feel the same kind of sick getting in your car?

Sorry to ask and tell me to 'but out', but you did put it up here and I am fishing for more detail.

Heartflowers

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 123903 10-01-2012 05:57 PM

Dissonant Cog Wrote:

You call it depression, I call it something else.
Welcome to the club.

Are you shy? Do you hide 'you' or play at 'acceptable' when ' out there'?
If you were going out to the countryside on your own where there would be no people, would you feel the same kind of sick getting in your car?

Sorry to ask and tell me to 'but out', but you did put it up here and I am fishing for more detail.

No. I have a dog..and sometimes..used to alot more., Just take him out to the state forest to walk the trails etc.

Interesting..what do you mean by play at 'acceptable' when out??

**geminigirl**

My father & my son's father passed away within a couple years of each other. If I can get through that, I'd like to think you can get through this. Hang in there & find your own way. Hugs

**Thomas Brinkley**

Yeah you get out of that shit by joining the club of people who aren't brain eating zombies. No lie. In the future, when the world turns upside down you'll be on top

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 123903 10-01-2012 06:09 PM

geminigirl Wrote:

My father & my son's father passed away within a couple years of each other. If I can get through that, I'd like to think you can get through this. Hang in there & find your own way.

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 124704 10-01-2012 06:10 PM

Thomas Brinkley Wrote:

Yeah you get out of that shit by joining the club of people who aren't brain eating zombies. No lie. In the future, when the world turns upside down you'll be on top

Suggestions where to find these people? I'm not as bad as the OP but I gave up on finding a mate too and avoid big crowds whenever I can.

Thx

**Dissonant Cog**

LoP Guest Wrote:

Thomas Brinkley Wrote:
Yeah you get out of that shit by joining the club of people who aren't brain eating zombies. No lie. In the future, when the world turns upside down you'll be on top

Suggestions where to find these people? I'm not as bad as the OP but I gave up on finding a mate too and avoid big crowds whenever I can.

Thx

lol, looks like you found us chuckle

OP, I mean, do you modify your true thoughts/behaviour when with the crowd. When at work etc are you honest or worried you'll get the sack, therefore act accordingly, I mean, do you hide yourself ? Hope that is clearer, but knowing me, probably not.

Heartflowers

**geminigirl**

LoP Guest Wrote:

Thomas Brinkley Wrote:
Yeah you get out of that shit by joining the club of people who aren't brain eating zombies. No lie. In the future, when the world turns upside down you'll be on top

Suggestions where to find these people? I'm not as bad as the OP but I gave up on finding a mate too and avoid big crowds whenever I can.

Thx

What are you interested in?

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 114809 10-01-2012 06:17 PM

You are your own worst enemy.
Be your best friend.

**Omega** · **Omega**Ex-Moderator User ID: 118052 10-01-2012 06:17 PM **Posts: 21,040**

geminigirl Wrote:

My father & my son's father passed away within a couple years of each other. If I can get through that, I'd like to think you can get through this. Hang in there & find your own way.

Major Bummer....

Heartflowers

OP-I've been through some shit myself. I would suggest exercise, get at least an hour of sunshine every day, avoid alcohol and drugs as it will only spiral you deeper ( I can speak from experience on that, lol) , and try, and I know it's difficult, to have some Hope.

Once you pull out of it you'll feel motivated to try and solve your problems...

My two cents...

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 122794 10-01-2012 06:20 PM

society calls it depression. But around here it is normal. You are awake. When you know the truth you know how powerless we all are to change the system. No one wants to be a slave. I recommend brain storming with alternative ways to make money so you can so f*ck you to the system. Living outside the box will be challenging but it will give you more freedom.

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 124704 10-01-2012 06:23 PM

geminigirl Wrote:

LoP Guest Wrote:
Thomas Brinkley Wrote:
Yeah you get out of that shit by joining the club of people who aren't brain eating zombies. No lie. In the future, when the world turns upside down you'll be on top

Suggestions where to find these people? I'm not as bad as the OP but I gave up on finding a mate too and avoid big crowds whenever I can.

Thx

What are you interested in?

Shooting, sailing, cycling and strolling in abandoned places.

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 123903 10-01-2012 06:25 PM

Omega Wrote:

geminigirl Wrote:
My father & my son's father passed away within a couple years of each other. If I can get through that, I'd like to think you can get through this. Hang in there & find your own way.

Major Bummer....

OP-I've been through some shit myself. I would suggest exercise, get at least an hour of sunshine every day, avoid alcohol and drugs as it will only spiral you deeper ( I can speak from experience on that, lol) , and try, and I know it's difficult, to have some Hope.

Once you pull out of it you'll feel motivated to try and solve your problems...

My two cents...

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 123903 10-01-2012 06:26 PM

Omega Wrote:

geminigirl Wrote:
My father & my son's father passed away within a couple years of each other. If I can get through that, I'd like to think you can get through this. Hang in there & find your own way.

Major Bummer....

OP-I've been through some shit myself. I would suggest exercise, get at least an hour of sunshine every day, avoid alcohol and drugs as it will only spiral you deeper ( I can speak from experience on that, lol) , and try, and I know it's difficult, to have some Hope.

Once you pull out of it you'll feel motivated to try and solve your problems...

My two cents...