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**# One** · (This post was last modified: 08-19-2012 12:56 PM by # One.)

Are you lonley, unhappy or dismayed at life.
This could change your life today...
Allow me to set you free....
To do this , you must break free from the dark secret controlling your life....
Admit your dark secret now and free your mind of the control its been under for years.
Today is the first day of he rest of your life....
LIVE IT
Jhikpghf

A dark secret may remain imprinted within the psyche like a photograph frozen in time, with all its memories and toxic feelings that keep the individual from living a healthy and productive life with spontaneity and flexibility. The "nature of the secret is that it wants to be found out." This forces the secret-holder into an avoidant and clandestine lifestyle where the objective for living is to maintain and protect the secret from being exposed to "the public zone" which could result in further humiliation, rejection and isolation. As a result of the need to protect oneself from the possible exposure of the secret, destructive and counterproductive "Private Vows" are implemented that can drive the "secret holder" like a ship without a rudder in the mist of a stormy sea. Honesty in relationships is diminished to the degree that the secret controls the individual's life and responses,

Living with a deep, dark secret is often a destroyer of energy, motivation and life. This clandestine living is an attempt to stay dissociated from the trauma in one's past by living a life of avoidance from anything that would bring to mind the painful memory of a past and shameful incidence. The exposure of the painful secret is often considered worse than maintaining the secret. This secrecy moves an individual more towards isolation and aloneness. An unconscious or even conscious Private Vow can begin to be the controlling force that alters the direction of the life of the secret holder and begins to isolate the secret holder in order to keep the secret from escaping into the zone of public awareness. The Private Vow increases the hyper-vigilance kind of lifestyle and decreases the possibility of living life spontaneously with flexibility. This can be referred to as pseudo living versus real living. More about Private Vows later. Honesty is sacrificed and deception reigns in relationships to the degree that the secret controls the individual's life and their responses.

http://www.catholictherapists.com/psycho...g-you.html

**# One**

Your probably thinking, why tell it here....
I would rather tell someone i know...
That could be and "is" the reason why millions never recover.
The friend, family member cycle, they listen...
Or do they?

The telling of one's story is an important step into a deeper healing. I learned this lesson from a woman client whose son committed suicide by hanging. For more than four months she would come into weekly sessions with an obsessive need to tell the same detailed story of what happened to her son. I became frustrated after hearing the same story for the fifth or sixth time, but no matter what I did or said therapeutically, I could not move her from her fixation. She insisted on telling her story even to the point of interrupting my therapeutic flow. I decided to face my frustrations and went with the client's resistance. She needed to tell her story in a safe environment and I was not going to get in the way. Several times I felt that she was not benefiting from therapy. I even sought consultation from a colleague who wisely encouraged me to "stick it out with her, because she needed to tell her story, and when the time is right for her she would move onto other issues." Sure enough! After about another twelve more times of hearing her tell the same story, she came into a session without starting it off with her son's name. She was ready to move on. This was an important lesson for me to learn as a psychotherapist. Hearing my client tell her story was not only an important part of her healing and recovery, but a vital necessity. I almost short-circuited her therapeutic process because I wanted to move faster than my client was willing or able to go. Sharing one's secret or story with family can be helpful but, more times then not, it is not emotionally safe to do so.

http://www.catholictherapists.com/psycho...g-you.html

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 115541 08-19-2012 01:09 PM

Catholic therapist? Isn't that like letting your pedophile uncle babysit your eight year old? If you haven't figured out the Catholic scam how are you going to help someone else?

**# One**

LoP Guest Wrote:

Catholic therapist? Isn't that like letting your pedophile uncle babysit your eight year old? If you haven't figured out the Catholic scam how are you going to help someone else?

Never judge one you truly dont know...
Listen and watch...
Then release the wolves...
chuckle

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 115541 08-19-2012 01:15 PM

NumBurr 1 Wrote:

LoP Guest Wrote:
Catholic therapist? Isn't that like letting your pedophile uncle babysit your eight year old? If you haven't figured out the Catholic scam how are you going to help someone else?

Never judge one you truly dont know...
Listen and watch...
Then release the wolves...

Not judging, just asking questions.

**# One**

LoP Guest Wrote:

NumBurr 1 Wrote:
LoP Guest Wrote:
Catholic therapist? Isn't that like letting your pedophile uncle babysit your eight year old? If you haven't figured out the Catholic scam how are you going to help someone else?

Never judge one you truly dont know...
Listen and watch...
Then release the wolves...

Not judging, just asking questions.

Im baptist anyhow....
we generalize our faults...
makes it less sticky lets say....
My underlying intent was to use the priest because the catholic religion requires a more direct one on one display where you lay it all out. Sin By Sin....
A more direct undestanding into how to control your psyche...
Inch by Inch...
Jhikpghf