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How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
DarkStarCrashes
Resist The NWO
User ID: 139213
12-19-2012 08:15 AM

Posts: 3,593



Post: #31
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
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Imum coeli  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:08 AM)
JIF  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:03 AM)
Imum coeli  Wrote: (12-19-2012 06:04 AM)
One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."

A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: "What, on Earth, does he mean by that?"

Peter replied: "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."

LEARN MATH!!! This joke is retarded. It doesn't even make sense as this is not the formula for a parabola.

Sorry....
y = -3x^2 + 8x - 9
Happy?
oh that explains why i didnt get it. of course. Headspin1
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Imum coeli
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User ID: 49554
12-19-2012 08:23 AM

 



Post: #32
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
DarkStarCrashes  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:15 AM)
Imum coeli  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:08 AM)
JIF  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:03 AM)
LEARN MATH!!! This joke is retarded. It doesn't even make sense as this is not the formula for a parabola.

Sorry....
y = -3x^2 + 8x - 9
Happy?
oh that explains why i didnt get it. of course. Headspin1

I know right. How could I have made such an obvious mistake? A parabola is function, not a number... Unless JIF has a problem with a quadratic function being a parabola? In that case I don't think it is I who has to learn math.

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=-3x^2%2B8x-9%3Dy
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DarkStarCrashes
Resist The NWO
User ID: 139213
12-19-2012 08:32 AM

Posts: 3,593



Post: #33
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
Imum coeli  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:23 AM)
DarkStarCrashes  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:15 AM)
Imum coeli  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:08 AM)
Sorry....
y = -3x^2 + 8x - 9
Happy?
oh that explains why i didnt get it. of course. Headspin1

I know right. How could I have made such an obvious mistake? A parabola is function, not a number... Unless JIF has a problem with a quadratic function being a parabola? In that case I don't think it is I who has to learn math.

yea, some people are so uptight. it's like a funeral around here. I figured this all would be fun. Jokes on us. 1dunno1
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Imum coeli
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User ID: 49554
12-19-2012 08:37 AM

 



Post: #34
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
DarkStarCrashes  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:32 AM)
Imum coeli  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:23 AM)
DarkStarCrashes  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:15 AM)
oh that explains why i didnt get it. of course. Headspin1

I know right. How could I have made such an obvious mistake? A parabola is function, not a number... Unless JIF has a problem with a quadratic function being a parabola? In that case I don't think it is I who has to learn math.

yea, some people are so uptight. it's like a funeral around here. I figured this all would be fun. Jokes on us. 1dunno1

Haters gonna hate... But I'm still having fun.
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DarkStarCrashes
Resist The NWO
User ID: 139213
12-19-2012 09:07 AM

Posts: 3,593



Post: #35
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
Imum coeli  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:37 AM)
DarkStarCrashes  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:32 AM)
Imum coeli  Wrote: (12-19-2012 08:23 AM)
I know right. How could I have made such an obvious mistake? A parabola is function, not a number... Unless JIF has a problem with a quadratic function being a parabola? In that case I don't think it is I who has to learn math.

yea, some people are so uptight. it's like a funeral around here. I figured this all would be fun. Jokes on us. 1dunno1

Haters gonna hate... But I'm still having fun.

Cheers
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Imum coeli
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User ID: 49554
12-19-2012 09:34 AM

 



Post: #36
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished.
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Prof-Rabbit
Registered User
User ID: 140551
12-19-2012 10:15 AM

Posts: 112



Post: #37
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves.

"What are you doing in there?" she asked.

The rabbit replied: "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"

The lady replied "Yes."

"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm westing".
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Prof-Rabbit
Registered User
User ID: 140551
12-19-2012 10:18 AM

Posts: 112



Post: #38
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
One day a city dweller decided to take a ride in the country. He hopped into his fancy, imported sportscar, zipped out along the big highway for a while, then, got off and drove along a very rural dirt road in the middle of farm country.

"Hey" the city dweller shouts "This area looks like the asshole of the country!"

"Well" says the farmer "You should know, your passing through!"
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DarkStarCrashes
Resist The NWO
User ID: 139213
12-19-2012 07:01 PM

Posts: 3,593



Post: #39
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
A pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder and a steering wheel on his pants.

The bartender says, "hey, you've got a steering wheel on your pants."

The pirate says, "Arrrr, It’s driving me nuts."
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SaltWaterTaffy
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User ID: 53361
12-19-2012 07:22 PM

 



Post: #40
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
chuckle cute

I think you read my diary, though ... they could have easily all been the same girl over time.
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LoP Guest
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User ID: 141028
12-19-2012 07:31 PM

 



Post: #41
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
What did Jerry Sandusky say when he was released from prison? "I feel like a kid again."

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?'
The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.'
The priest said, 'Rubbing is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put $50 in the poor box.'
The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box.
He paused for a moment and then started to leave.
The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!'
The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'
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TheRavioli
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User ID: 123856
12-19-2012 07:35 PM

 



Post: #42
banana RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 141028
12-19-2012 07:43 PM

 



Post: #43
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
a man goes into dairy queen and says: "give me a scoop of chocolate ice cream"
the young lady behind the counter tells him: "sorry we are fresh out"
man says: "but i need my chocolate ice cream and i need it now"
without hesitation the young girl asks the man: "look sir, how do you spell the sun, in sunshine"
man says: "s u n, everybody knows that".
''Ok, how do you spell the f*#k, in chocolate ice cream" The man screams: "there is no f*#k in
chocolate ice cream" when she says: "THAT’S WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU"

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...

The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimer's disease or AIDS."

"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"

"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't f*#k her."


Teacher wants the class to use the word beautiful in a sentence twice.

It's Johnny's turn and he's sitting in the back of the room. Responds, "Yo teach, I just don't do that."

Teacher says he will get a zero for the day if he doesn't participate, so Johnny says, "Okay, you want me to use the word beautiful in a sentence twice, here goes:"

The other day, we're sitting down eating breakfast, and my sister comes downstairs and says "Dad, I think I'm pregnant"

My dad said, "Beautiful, f*cking beautiful"
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The_Ferryman
Registered User
User ID: 140789
12-19-2012 08:13 PM

Posts: 110



Post: #44
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
Captains log Stardate 2746.5..What ever that means. We have arrived at the planet DIRTYBATH (Thats the one with the ring round it) in answer to a distress signal. I lead an away team aboard a stricken craft on the planet, and found one occupant.

The Occupant appeared a strange creature, reptilian in nature but strangely resembling a Scrawny Chicken, it had Short black straggly hair, a HUGE head on a scrawny neck, and large Adams Apple, that jiggled up & down hypnotically.

The creature appeared injured, and was unable to speak, so Mr Spock attempted a Mind Meld which proved very eventful, After an hour of trying to find a Brain he finally made contact with a single brain cell in the creature, the other one was in a coma.

After only a few minutes of contact Mr Spock broke off, and appeared very shaken by the experience, his ears were drooping, and his eyebrow was cocked up on his forehead..."Mr Spock report please" i asked him, Mr Spock turned, and very distressed he made his report.

Captain! "Fascinating" he said this creature is one seriously f**ked up, and disturbed Alien, It's mind is like a whirlpool in a cesspit, it's name is Cameron, and is of a race called the "Politicians", it appears it's own race exiled it into deep space for it's crimes.

It seems that it got injured when the ships computer decided to commit electronic suicide, and blow itself up because it couldn't stand to hear the Alien any more going on, and on how it wanted to dominate the planet with It's ideas on how the planet should be run, it kept going on about "The Big Society" and it's incessant twaddle drove people mad.

It's crimes were that it was forever poking it's hooked nose into other peoples affairs on it's own world of "Parliament", it was convicted of Spying, Mental torture,, and boring the Shit out of people with it's incessant twitterings, so they exiled it into space.

The ship's heading was towards Earth when the computer blew, it's a good job captain it never reached earth, do you agree?.

I replied to Spock "yes" it is fortunate that it failed in it's mission...Captain to Enterprise beam the away team aboard, then lock on Photon torpedoes, and blow the Crap out of this Ship, and it's Reptile occupant to hell.......END Captains log

[Image: EvolutionZombie.gif]
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The_Ferryman
Registered User
User ID: 140789
12-19-2012 08:18 PM

Posts: 110



Post: #45
RE: How About A Good Joke To Lighten The Mood?
Jingle Bells Rudolph smells Santa's ran away, Mrs Clause has menopause, and the Elves have all turned Gay.

[Image: EvolutionZombie.gif]
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