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**Tyche Unleashed**

Stone Soup Wrote:

I would say I resent this thread, but this newer model of women shock me too. Just don't lump us all in that category.

I guess I could say the same thing about men, so maybe it is an equal opportunity thing now. Heck if I know.

I will tell ya this though, if there is not respect in a relationship, there is no relationship. It sounds like neither of you have respect for each other, so there you go.

Sorry OP.

It's the new culture slammed in our faces and been building for years.
Men and women fall for it and it's really sad.
Op maybe you should consider ending it if it is going to have you in such a state. Hugs

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 69486 04-22-2012 03:03 PM

eclipsed Wrote:

LoP Guest Wrote:
naw she just want to f*ck around behind my back and expect me to look the other way and yet have me stay completely faithful to her.

That's pretty much the gist of the matter.

OP, there are plenty of loving women out there who want a good man.
a man who would give them 15 years of respect and love.
go find one.
quit wasting any more of UR valuable time.
the NEXT women will be even BETTER than this one!
stop being a damn martyr and make a stand.

There are plenty of women who are just sick of the whole thing too. And if the OP is really doing stuff like a keyboard logger? whether she is doing something wrong or not..get out of there! it IS obvious that there is no trust..how can there be a healthy relationship, let alone a happy one?
I have lived under that kind of scrutiny and not done a single thing to merit it..but I left because there was not a healthy relationship and I didn't want to model a life like that for my kids. There was never 'someone else' and still isn't.
If you are that unhappy OP..why stay? What do you have to gain by living in resentment and distrust and forcing another to live under a magnifying glass? If you have children or hypothetically had them, is this the kind of relationship you would want for them? or for anyone you cared about for that matter..a friend or relative?

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 90113 04-22-2012 03:25 PM

Alrighty, I would LOVE for this thread to be deleted now... I knew I would end up regretting it. I do have to admire all of the different opposing views and the advice... do you all not think I haven't had the same thoughts about most of it? Anyway, it did serve it's purpose and apparently also provided some entertainment for some Sunday Drama, but I would like to keep whatever shred of self respect/dignity that I still have.

**geminigirl**

LoP Guest Wrote:

Alrighty, I would LOVE for this thread to be deleted now... I knew I would end up regretting it. I do have to admire all of the different opposing views and the advice... do you all not think I haven't had the same thoughts about most of it? Anyway, it did serve it's purpose and apparently also provided some entertainment for some Sunday Drama, but I would like to keep whatever shred of self respect/dignity that I still have.

I just read through the whole thread & you got some great responses. Don't regret it. You got it all out in the open. That's the first step. Don't be ashamed for what someone does to you. When you can openly & honestly say in front of friends this is my situation, you cease being the victim & start down the path to healing. Stop hiding it all & start being honest with yourself. Trust me...I've been there, done that & you won't respect yourself until you stop being a victim of your circumstances. Don't let fear stop you from doing what you know is right for you. Hugs

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 91893 04-22-2012 03:50 PM

its all an illusion created by illumanists

**Earth Child**

geminigirl Wrote:

LoP Guest Wrote:
Alrighty, I would LOVE for this thread to be deleted now... I knew I would end up regretting it. I do have to admire all of the different opposing views and the advice... do you all not think I haven't had the same thoughts about most of it? Anyway, it did serve it's purpose and apparently also provided some entertainment for some Sunday Drama, but I would like to keep whatever shred of self respect/dignity that I still have.

I just read through the whole thread & you got some great responses. Don't regret it. You got it all out in the open. That's the first step. Don't be ashamed for what someone does to you. When you can openly & honestly say in front of friends this is my situation, you cease being the victim & start down the path to healing. Stop hiding it all & start being honest with yourself. Trust me...I've been there, done that & you won't respect yourself until you stop being a victim of your circumstances. Don't let fear stop you from doing what you know is right for you.

I've been in the same situation recently OP, sometimes you have to learn to let go, even if you stay together, you're holding onto some idea of how your relationship should be instead of how it is. In a way this is a blessing, maybe you both need a little independence, keep the good stuff and let go of what is no longer assisting you on your path. When you hold onto these old ideas that no longer work you get trapped trying to control the other person, and what happens is they end up controlling you. It is hard but if you can let go, at least to some extent, it may be the easiest thing you've ever done.

Focus on yourself a bit and things will transform. Like a butterfly our of a caterpillar, you never know what may blossom on the otherside.

Heartflowers

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 91913 04-22-2012 04:32 PM

you have to find a Goddess

Jhikpghf

**geminigirl** · (This post was last modified: 04-22-2012 04:52 PM by geminigirl.)

Earth Child Wrote:

geminigirl Wrote:
LoP Guest Wrote:
Alrighty, I would LOVE for this thread to be deleted now... I knew I would end up regretting it. I do have to admire all of the different opposing views and the advice... do you all not think I haven't had the same thoughts about most of it? Anyway, it did serve it's purpose and apparently also provided some entertainment for some Sunday Drama, but I would like to keep whatever shred of self respect/dignity that I still have.

I just read through the whole thread & you got some great responses. Don't regret it. You got it all out in the open. That's the first step. Don't be ashamed for what someone does to you. When you can openly & honestly say in front of friends this is my situation, you cease being the victim & start down the path to healing. Stop hiding it all & start being honest with yourself. Trust me...I've been there, done that & you won't respect yourself until you stop being a victim of your circumstances. Don't let fear stop you from doing what you know is right for you.

I've been in the same situation recently OP, sometimes you have to learn to let go, even if you stay together, you're holding onto some idea of how your relationship should be instead of how it is. In a way this is a blessing, maybe you both need a little independence, keep the good stuff and let go of what is no longer assisting you on your path. When you hold onto these old ideas that no longer work you get trapped trying to control the other person, and what happens is they end up controlling you. It is hard but if you can let go, at least to some extent, it may be the easiest thing you've ever done.

Focus on yourself a bit and things will transform. Like a butterfly our of a caterpillar, you never know what may blossom on the otherside.

Well said EC! Heartflowers

**Earth Child**

It's hard to let go, but sometimes it's the only thing left to do.

Hugs

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 77388 04-22-2012 05:13 PM

LoP Guest Wrote:

Ok, I'll give a little detail...

Here's a psychological question you can apply to yourself: Since you clearly started this thread to talk about your personal life, why did you feel it was neccesary to put up a smoke screen about not wanting to divulge these details in your original post?

Understand your own motivations and you will understand everyone else's.

**Bond, James Bond** Licensed to kill User ID: 007 04-22-2012 05:56 PM

LoP Guest Wrote:

So I know this, so why am I still in a relationship?

...
I stopped going through her phone a long time ago because I didn't like what I would find...
that said, I'm a bad guy, and have a secret keylogger on her computer. I got the dirt... but she would/will never, ever admit it....
deny everything (after all, ignorance is bliss...NOT)
So I keep that crap to myself... just cause strife to bring it up and then my secret would be out...
...
God forbid if I TALK to a girl much less do what she does...

Why? You're insecure and childish.

If she's easily jealous too then both of you are not mature enough to handle a relationship.

You should NEVER be with someone long-term you don't feel you can trust and vice versa.

I'd hesitate to dump a guy simply if he'd had a little something on the side that was "just sex" but he'd be gone in a heartbeat if he spied on me like that.

I don't think humans are really meant to be monogamous sometimes.

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 77388 04-22-2012 06:10 PM

Bond, James Bond Wrote:

I don't think humans are really meant to be monogamous sometimes.

I think you may be on to something there.

If you need someone else to maintain your own happiness you are a psychic parasite. You cannot posses another human being; that attacks their inherent agency and degrades yourself to the level of the primitive.

The concept of monogamy seems perfectly suited to only promote issues of possesiveness and emotional dependency.

Is it any wonder that problems arise when the underlying assumption is that the other person has a duty to make you happy and reassure you of your own importance by having sex with you exclusively?

**LoP Guest** lop guest User ID: 90113 04-22-2012 06:53 PM

A little note on spying and keyloggers, you all do realize that is EXACTLY what the government (and their select "corporations") does to each and every one of us right?

Does the same advice apply there? ...think about it.