Post: #1

Jesus Christ, man. I just totally bombed a job I'm sure people would froth at the mouth for. I seriously f*cking suck.

Basically, I used to be a bartender. I bartended at a bowling alley for awhile and it was great. I totally enjoyed it - the customer interaction, the chance to be MOVING AROUND all day. Well, I wasn't making shit for money (because, you know, it was summer and a bowling alley) and before I could make moves to even consider finding another job, they closed the place down.

Damn, I thought. Well, I found another bartending job, and they had me barback a couple days for a week before I got my first bartender shift. Even though I thought I did awesome that shift (9-5 PM and I still walked away with over $100, and that was with waiting tables AND bartending - basically the only guy in there besides a kitchen staff), the boss guy didn't feel "confident" with me bartending, for whatever reason. Could not even provide one (not that he even needs to, he is the boss afterall).

So, while still "working" there two days a week and making $40 in my pocket, I found ANOTHER bartending job (imagine my luck) working at a decent restaurant. Quit that other job, and focused on working here exclusively. Problem is, I was promised 4 night shifts (including the weekend), and by my second week there, I was only getting day shifts. On the weekdays, and not making enough to put food on my table.

I kept losing my shifts to another new hire who had big tits and platinum blonde hair. I get it, that's the business and I understand hot chicks will always be more appealing than a guy, but it really....shit, it really sucked.

So, after putting up with this for about a month and a half, I had it out with my supervisor who was putting me on the chopping block for "not having fruit cut" when I busted my ass all day to help the OTHER bartenders because they were getting swarmed (of course they made a fortune that day - no one kicked anything back to me. Which was fine, I just wanted to help. But I'd be damned if I wasn't pissed off about it).

About a week later, I got the boot. Mind you, When I did have people at my bar, it was amazing. Something to do, people to talk to, and the few times I did make a giant wad of cash, it was always the best day ever.

But, I began to notice the problems coming back. My ADHD has been on overdrive since I was a toddler and it gets progressively worse the older I get. I cannot multitask. I break my back and try to overcome it, but the moment things get hectic I can't handle it. I look sloppy and sluggish and it just hampers my work performance considerably.

I've tried to take "meds" and I either turn so mute and outwardly focused I can't function at all, or it just doesn't help my symptoms at all.

Anyways, I was without a job for 2 months, and decided to go back to the "corporate" world. Landed an awesome gig with a company making a cool $20 an hour. It's cubicle, 9-5, sit at a computer all day and solve complex networking and application issues over the phone.

Thing is, I did a job like this once before, over a year and a half ago, and I hated it so, so much. It made me want to kill myself, honestly. Sitting there, all day, dealing with nothingness, It paid great, but I hated it. I unwittingly set myself up to be laid off - I checked out my last month there. I didn't intend to, I just got so burnt out I basically gave up.

So I tell myself "I won't f*ck up this job, this is my chance!" I was going to work here for at least 8 months, get a new (used) car, pay off some debt, and move to the coast with a fat savings account. Take on a new adventure.

I had this job since last Monday. I just got canned today. You want to know why?

Haha, I hope you're ready for this epic fuckup.

I dozed off at work. Seriously. I went into this job, promising myself I'd do my best, and I meant it. Basically, we sit in a small training class for a week, learning all these applications from a teacher. I could not focus. AT ALL.

My attention meter was on "HELLISHLY CRAZY" and I could not focus. It was a fight to not just doze off. And then I did Wednesday, and came up with some extremely crafty lie to avoid getting fired.

That's how pathetic I got. Problem is, I could not/can not sleep. The way I am, if I don't get 7-8 hours of sleep minimum, I feel like a sluggish zombie all day. When I'm at a job where I'm moving all day, this is not an issue at all. I never start to feel the effects because I'm constantly MOVING and ENGAGING.

And, being that I've become a night owl, I could not, no matter what, force myself to fall asleep at a decent hour before work in the morning. I was running on three hours of sleep a day the entire time I worked at this place. And even though I was retaining this information without issue (mind you, I'm working with college graduates and am the youngest person in the building by an average of at least ten years), I could not focus, and could not keep myself visually AWARE.

So today, while sitting with my "mentor" (after the first week of training, you have to sit next to someone for an entire week while they "show you the ropes" of the call center), it kept happening again.

After the first f*ck-up last week, I swore to myself it wouldn't happen again. I tried, I swear on my life I did. I could not sleep, though. I'd come home exhausted, and could not sleep at a decent hour.

So today, while shadowing my mentor, I looked "displaced." I did not fall asleep, doze off or anything, but I was bored. Completely, bored. A supervisor walked by and noticed and I was immediately terminated.

I mean, f*ck. I've been on time, clocked in early, on time with lunches, put myself up to doing this job I'm NOT good at (for the sheer boredom of it), and still go canned. I'm actually kind of pissed, because I force myself to focus (to the best of my abilities) and "stay up" but still, canned.

So now, I'm sitting here, wondering what the f*ck is the next step. The worst part is, all these things I've mentioned, they're MY FAULT.

I f*cked MYSELF OVER, and I completely did not intend to. I loved bartending, but the workplace gossip made me tart to hate it, and my failures at mass-multitasking simply made me look like an idiot.

Corporate jobs, I just can't...FOCUS. I'm sitting there, spinning in my chair like an idiot, just to keep myself entertained. I already knew I wasn't going to be a good fit for this place, and just wanted to work there for the 8 months, take the money, and run.

I love talking to people. I love being spontaneous. I love computers, and I love applying critical thought and problem-solving. But when it comes to the work world, I fall apart. And I sit here, and beat myself up over it, knowing it's MY fault, and just not being sure why the f*ck I can't just STOP.

I don't want to say it's the ADHD. That's an excuse, and it's a cop-out, period. Moreso, I wish big-evil-Pharma had something I could take for it to make me feel more "normal" and isn't probably bad for my brain long-term.

The thing is, I really like me. I like who I am, and the ADHD played a huge part in it. I'm spontaneous, ridiculous, fun, and outlandish. It's what's made me, ME. It just royally blows that I keep f*cking up my job propositions as a result.

Now, I don't know what to do. I'd like to go back to bartending, but my weaknesses will probably just FLOW through again, and I'll look like an idiot and get fired.

I have another corporate job lined up possibly, but based on what happened with this recent one, how can I expect anything to be different? I'll probably just embarrass myself again.

Truth is, I didn't like being in a call center environment, and I knew it. I just wanted to believe I could milk it for as long as I could, use the money for what I needed it for (buy a new used car, pay off debt, and move to the coast), and I managed to screw that up.

I'm great with people. I interview incredibly well. Any interactions I ever have with customers are always amazing and make me look great. Everything else? I'm awful at. Maybe I just lack discipline. Even though I have my own place, and have to provide for it or I'll live on the street, I can't seem to just tell my brain to SHUT THE f*ck UP and do my job well enough so I don't look like a bafoon or get fired.

So, now that I'm back in the job market, I have no idea what kind of job I can do, now. Bartending? Tried it, failed. Office-Space Corporate job? Tried it, hated it, and totally embarrassed myself at it.

I'm a f*cking FAILURE, and it's MY fault.

I can't start a business without having a cushion of some sort. I can't be a salesman (even though I'd KILL at it) because I hate the idea that I'll only be able to live off of what I can sell, which is frighteningly scare). I can't pursue things that really interest me, like music or writing, because after five minutes at it it becomes "too long a chore" and I lose the focus or drive to finish.

I can't seem to do anything right, and there is no "magic pill" I can take that can make me be more responsible and able to focus like everyone else.

I don't know what to do now, really. I was on unemployment since last year (when I got laid off from the last corporate job), and have been ever since since I haven't been able to scrounge together even 1200 a month (the unemployment rate cap I have).

That's, embarrasing. I'm a f*cking parasite, using another means of income to mask my own failures. I'm going to get off unemployment, despite this last job setback.

I don't deserve it. If I end up in the street, so be it. Maybe then I can learn how to not f*cking fail at providing for myself, or end up dead in a gutter on a massive cocaine binge.

Sigh.

Go ahead, tell me how irresponsible I am. How lazy I am, and how I lack discipline- how I'm a blight and a great example of the failure of my generation.

Seriously. I really deserve it. I don't deserve any pity or compassion, I deserve to be belittled.

I just wish...f*ck, I just wish I could do something and be GOOD at it. Maybe even ENJOY it. I get that that's not "responsible" or how the world really works, but still.

I'll tell you this much, when I got home today, pissed off at myself and tired beyond belief, I slept.

Slept for 8 hours, and it felt...AMAZING. The most sleep I've gotten in two weeks. I wish I could feel like that every single day I got up in the morning.

Fail, fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail fail

Post: #2

Try to take as many chemicals out of your diet as possible. Including Fluoride, aspartame, MSG... the ones you don't think about. Don't watch cable television. Your attention span and alertness will improve dramatically.

Post: #3

quit face book, hit the gym, and hire a lawyer and sue them for not treating your disability correctly.

Post: #4

Skippy  Wrote:

Try to take as many chemicals out of your diet as possible. Including Fluoride, aspartame, MSG... the ones you don't think about. Don't watch cable television. Your attention span and alertness will improve dramatically.

Quote:quit face book, hit the gym, and hire a lawyer and sue them for not treating your disability correctly.

It is probably best that it happened...things do happen for a reason and bartending isn't it. Now it is time to go lifeguarding.

Post: #5

You need to see that your work really counts. I suggest start a business in the home services business. House cleaning, window cleaning, gutter cleaning, pressure washing, etc..

You can make 50 - 100+ dollars per hour depending on the job and how fast you are.

Call a building maintenance company or and janitorial service cleaning office buildings or get a job with a window cleaner as an apprentice.

Learn the ropes for a year or two, then start your own business. make all the money. If you work for someone else you will make between 10 and 20/hr to start depending on experience, but you make all the money if you do the work yourself for you.

This way, YOU are in charge and YOU have to rely on YOUR sales and customer service as well as YOUR labor.

This way you will see the importance of not being asleep at the wheel.

Good luck.

Post: #6

LoP Guest  Wrote:

quit face book, hit the gym, and hire a lawyer and sue them for not treating your disability correctly.

I hit the gym like a workout Nazi, I deleted my Facebook over a month ago.

The third part did make me laugh, though. Thanks, I guess.

Post: #7

Here you go OP...

Bar-tending gig in Hawaii,

https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/308493700

Federal job with benefits,

Go and eventually get a job on Waikiki Beach like Dukes or something.






I'll most likely lose my job here in a few months as well OP,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIiUqfxFttM

Post: #8

blind prophet  Wrote:

Here you go OP...

Bar-tending gig in Hawaii,

https://www.usajobs.gov/GetJob/ViewDetails/308493700

Federal job with benefits,

Go and eventually get a job on Waikiki Beach like Dukes or something.






I'll most likely lose my job here in a few months as well OP,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIiUqfxFttM

Difference is, you're not going to lose your job over complete negligence like I did.

I would want to get back into bartending. When it was the right shift, on a good night and I made good money, there was nothing else I wanted to do.

Just the inability to multitask, and the workplace gossip at these joints...

It kills man, it really kills it. I'm afraid to step out of my own apartment now, for fear I'll just f*ck something else up.

And I, wholeheartedly, don't even mean to. I don't. It sucks.

Post: #9

Camborg80-Trey  Wrote:

LoP Guest  Wrote:

quit face book, hit the gym, and hire a lawyer and sue them for not treating your disability correctly.

I hit the gym like a workout Nazi, I deleted my Facebook over a month ago.

The third part did make me laugh, though. Thanks, I guess.

You can only sue for wrongful termination because of a disability only if the employer was made aware of the disability before your hire date or during your tenure there as a coincidental discovery. but you must notify them if it may affect your work performance.

Otherwise, no case.

Post: #10

LoP Guest  Wrote:

Camborg80-Trey  Wrote:

LoP Guest  Wrote:

quit face book, hit the gym, and hire a lawyer and sue them for not treating your disability correctly.

I hit the gym like a workout Nazi, I deleted my Facebook over a month ago.

The third part did make me laugh, though. Thanks, I guess.

You can only sue for wrongful termination because of a disability only if the employer was made aware of the disability before your hire date or during your tenure there as a coincidental discovery. but you must notify them if it may affect your work performance.

Otherwise, no case.

In fact, therein may lye your answer. On your next application, where they ask you if you have a disability that may prevent you from performing your duties, say "Yes" and then explain it and tell them what special needs you require. Chances are, they don't want a lawsuit, so, they may hire you.

Post: #11

LoP Guest  Wrote:

LoP Guest  Wrote:

Camborg80-Trey  Wrote:

I hit the gym like a workout Nazi, I deleted my Facebook over a month ago.

The third part did make me laugh, though. Thanks, I guess.

You can only sue for wrongful termination because of a disability only if the employer was made aware of the disability before your hire date or during your tenure there as a coincidental discovery. but you must notify them if it may affect your work performance.

Otherwise, no case.

In fact, therein may lye your answer. On your next application, where they ask you if you have a disability that may prevent you from performing your duties, say "Yes" and then explain it and tell them what special needs you require. Chances are, they don't want a lawsuit, so, they may hire you.

Google "Americans With Disabilities Act".

Post: #12

LoP Guest  Wrote:

LoP Guest  Wrote:

[quote='Camborg80-Trey' pid='4430929' dateline='1351071066']

I hit the gym like a workout Nazi, I deleted my Facebook over a month ago.

The third part did make me laugh, though. Thanks, I guess.

You can only sue for wrongful termination because of a disability only if the employer was made aware of the disability before your hire date or during your tenure there as a coincidental discovery. but you must notify them if it may affect your work performance.

Otherwise, no case.

I would never, in a million years, consider putting "ADHD" as a disability in the chance I'd get to sue a place.

That's a cop-out, and makes you look like a dick. I don't believe in that. I actually thought you guys were joking about this.

Post: #13

hair sylist/barber
limo service driver
delivery peeps
dealer at a casino
stripper
hotel industry
food industry
Do you like to make things like crafts? Sell what you like to make. Just some suggestions bro.
You could also join a lodge and eavesdrop/spy everything and report back to me...I'll pay you $250 a year to expose those goat drinkers.

Post: #14

You keep saying how great a job it was, yet you were nothing but bored and were only going to work there 8 months, you admit it wasn't a good fit. So now, go find a job you'll enjoy and stop using the phony disease of AHDD as an excuse to avoid success, be the captain of your ship.

Post: #15

know the feeling... I had a job that paid ok for my line of work and it was close to home. The problem was I over did it when trying to help out. I was working 55 to 60 hrs a week for a month and I just got burnt out. I worked 12-13 hr shifts and just over did it. I got terminated from that site and did not work any hrs for 2 weeks and now I only got about 16hrs and have 0.00 cash for next two weeks till my new 16hrs shows up on next pay check.