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**Rager** lop guest User ID: 117924 09-01-2012 02:49 AM

I: Creation
It started with darkness...
not a glimpse of light broke through the infinite darkness. Out of all the matter in space, one was alive. The creator was born, and wanted to breed more life into the universe. He created 8 planets, all by gathering assortments or space dust and throwing them together.

He tried creating life on each, but none were able to sustain it. All were filled with chaos: unsettled tectonics, massive volcanic activity, and the atmosphere of each was just too unstable. He looked thoroughly and picked the one that was the most "stable" out of the 8.

That world was still filled with chaos and darkness. The majority of it was water, so the Creator knew if he could calm the land down he would be able to slowly bring some life to it. He cleared the atmosphere and the sun broke through for the first time on the land. He began planting seeds on the areas furthest away from the volcanoes, and slowly plants began to grow. He even threw some seeds into the ocean to see if there was a possibility for an environment there.

As the years passed, and the land grew a bit more stable with the plants, the volcanoes seemed to calm. It seemed the new life energy brought to the planet was helping to calm it. As the atmosphere cleared up, the creator wondered if maybe he could make something that would help keep the cycle of life in order. He looked into the ocean to see if an environment had formed, and saw creatures swimming. He was enthralled by this. He gathered one creature, and studied it. Where did this come from? Could he make more for the land? He took a piece of the skin from the creature, and grabbed some leaves from some of the plants in the earth, and balled them up. He laid the small "egg" in a hole he created, and awaited to see if a land creature would form. Months passed, and nothing came. He became distraught, and took the egg out. He laid it on the ground, and saw that it began to move as it was brought into the light. A 4 legged creature crawled out, and thus the first land creature was created.

**Mike** lop guest User ID: 105339 09-01-2012 02:49 AM

I created a turd out of darkness.

All hail Mike, God of turd carving.

**Rager** lop guest User ID: 117924 09-01-2012 02:51 AM

Mike Wrote:

I created a turd out of darkness.

All hail Mike, God of turd carving.

Read my awesome story in the OP It took me a good 20 minutes to think of.
Jhikpghf

**Mike** lop guest User ID: 105339 09-01-2012 02:53 AM

Rager Wrote:

Mike Wrote:
I created a turd out of darkness.

All hail Mike, God of turd carving.

Read my awesome story in the OP It took me a good 20 minutes to think of.

And I promise I'll read it shortly and consider a serious response rather than simply read the subject and first line or so chuckle

**Pope Barbie Imaculata**

I am the Grand High Pope of the Dystopian Church of Bob the Redeemer. We are an international denomination known and respected on two continents. You are most welcome to join us Rager.

Charlie

**Ray-Ray Debarge** lop guest User ID: 117668 09-01-2012 02:56 AM

Do I get a harem and a stable?

**Rager** lop guest User ID: 117924 09-01-2012 02:57 AM

barbsat Wrote:

I am the Grand High Pope of the Dystopian Church of Bob the Redeemer. We are an international denomination known and respected on two continents. You are most welcome to join us Rager.

That's a very enticing offer, I'll have to think about it.

Ozymandias Wrote:

Do I get a harem and a stable?

and a sheeple.

**Ray-Ray Debarge** lop guest User ID: 117668 09-01-2012 03:01 AM

Rager Wrote:

barbsat Wrote:
I am the Grand High Pope of the Dystopian Church of Bob the Redeemer. We are an international denomination known and respected on two continents. You are most welcome to join us Rager.

That's a very enticing offer, I'll have to think about it.

Ozymandias Wrote:
Do I get a harem and a stable?

and a sheeple.

Woot. You got yerself a clergyman!

**Random User**

Eight planets???? Sorry bro, if you refuse to give Pluto fill planetary status you're just another weirdo cult to me.

"Thus the war began. The believers in the eight planet system, know as the Octals, struggled for control against the Niners who believed the Holy Mother Charon had blessed Pluto above all other planets."

**Pope Barbie Imaculata**

Ozymandias Wrote:

Rager Wrote:
barbsat Wrote:
I am the Grand High Pope of the Dystopian Church of Bob the Redeemer. We are an international denomination known and respected on two continents. You are most welcome to join us Rager.

That's a very enticing offer, I'll have to think about it.

Ozymandias Wrote:
Do I get a harem and a stable?

and a sheeple.

Woot. You got yerself a clergyman!

I am even ordained by the church we split from. Best $30.00 I ever spent. In my new offshoot I will accept 100 lbs of crushed aluminum cans for eternal salvation.

Annie Sprinkle is our saint of baptism. The woman is just golden!

**Sunny**

That's it! I'm going to join the Pluto Religion for all those cast off's like me! Tissue

**Ray-Ray Debarge** lop guest User ID: 117668 09-01-2012 03:11 AM

barbsat Wrote:

Ozymandias Wrote:
Rager Wrote:
That's a very enticing offer, I'll have to think about it.

and a sheeple.

Woot. You got yerself a clergyman!

I am even ordained by the church we split from. Best $30.00 I ever spent. In my new offshoot I will accept 100 lbs of crushed aluminum cans for eternal salvation.

Annie Sprinkle is our saint of baptism. The woman is just golden!

So if nobody has picked out sacrament-juice yet, I'm thinking Moet, Cognac and Kool-Aid.

**Vicious**

Can we sacrifice gingers ?

Or is that wrong ?

**Ray-Ray Debarge** lop guest User ID: 117668 09-01-2012 03:13 AM

Vicious Wrote:

Can we sacrifice gingers ?

Or is that wrong ?

It is wrong to be ginger.

**Rager** lop guest User ID: 117924 09-01-2012 03:13 AM

Samurai Poodle Master Wrote:

Eight planets???? Sorry bro, if you refuse to give Pluto fill planetary status you're just another weirdo cult to me.

"Thus the war began. The believers in the eight planet system, know as the Octals, struggled for control against the Niners who believed the Holy Mother Charon had blessed Pluto above all other planets."

If it's war you want, you shall not get it. We are a spiritual people. We'll just send a mass of fire ants to your land.
Heartflowers