There is something I want to share with you, because I've heard many people on this site talk about how if they were going to be homeless, they would rely on their family and friends. Maybe in a SHTF scenario, you're thinking you might take your family in, like I was planning. My thoughts on this weren't very concrete.
I always thought when the chips were really down, people's good side would shine through.
Through a series of events, I am losing my house. It's a long story, but I have never been in this position of needing help.
Toward the end, a relative moved in and was going to help with the payments. They stayed for several months for free, I found them work, and when the time came to pitch in financially, they up and moved in the middle of the night. They thought that living with me for free, eating my food, and doubling my utility bill was "helping out" -- you know, because they are so fascinating and entertaining. I wish I was kidding. This put me into worse financial shape. I was chastised by another family member for not giving this person a going away party.
I have informed every member of my family that I am losing my place to live. I have asked for help. Not one has offered me a place to stay, no one has given me a dime, including the relative down the street with a 4000 square foot house for three people. I always assumed my family would help me because I have helped them in the past. I thought the ones that owed me money would be thrilled to lend me a hand or would at least feel guilty and pay me what they owe me.
A very good friend who I nursed through a flesh eating bacterial infection for three weeks last year also refused to help me. I have helped this individual through two other surgeries. They live alone in a four-bedroom house.
The final straw came from one of the closest people to me. A friend who was in a similar situation I allowed to move in with me. I swallowed my pride, told them I needed help and asked them to call me. They are very aware of my situation. I have not heard from them in six weeks.
I have literally begged people to pay me the money they owe me.
When my family and these other people ask me what I am going to do, I have told them that I am going to live in my car, just to see their response. Nothing.
There have been incredible people who have come forward. A neighbor offered to buy my house and rent it back to me for less money, and another offered to help me move. A third person I know through business offered to let me stay in their vacation condo for free. And finally, another friend a few hours from where I am offered to let me stay with him for a year, rent free and offered me a job if I needed one. I probably won't need their help, but it's nice to know I have a fall back position.
I believe this all came about to change my attitude about helping people. I think the economy is going in the drain over the next six months, much worse than it is now. I think everyone is going to need help. I had always thought, "Of course I will help my family", but now I am rethinking that approach. I am now beginning to ask myself how those people would behave if there was very little food, would they share? If they had the only functioning vehicle, would they allow me to drive it? Things like that.
It's not about punishing them, but about not inviting people in with the selfish mindset. I think I had to go through this experience to understand that I need to protect myself from those people in an emergency situation.
I urge you to rethink your position on people so you don't learn it the hard way. Just because they are related to you does not automatically mean they will help you. Don't be like me and assume it.
At this point, I would rely on my neighbors long before I would my family and friends.
Just a heads up for you guys, so you can learn from my shitty lesson.
“Doubt not that there is a judgment day where every foul deed and deal of death will be brought to light, and justice will be meted out to the perpetrators in a most satisfying, and eternal fashion.”