News
news Was Roswell UFO Crash A Secret Nazi Aircraft?
news London museum planned to ‘shoot and steal Nessie’
news The Real-Life Journey to the Center of the Earth That Almost Was
news Why Your Cat Thinks You're an Idiot
news Personal helicopter will be as easy to drive as a car
news Infrared Nessie photograph to be revealed
news Scientists Make Progress on Building a More Mammoth-Like Elephant
news US Military Taking Action in Response to Climate Change
news Largest Sunspot in Decades Sending Solar Flares at Earth
news Connection Between Easter Islanders and Native Americans Revealed
news The largest city in Brazil is running dangerously low on water

Advertisement



Username:
Password: or Register
 
Thread Rating:
  • 2 Vote(s) - 5 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream-- For The Reptilian With Everything...
Monkeyfister
CENSORED
User ID: 55750
11-26-2012 08:18 PM

Posts: 3,998



Post: #1
beermug Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream-- For The Reptilian With Everything...
Advertisement
Here's a thoughtful gift idea for that oh, so heard-to-shop-for Reptilian Overlord in your life:

http://www.etsy.com/listing/115942694/sh...cream-with

[Image: D87A_50B3B188.jpg]

From the Product Description:
Quote:Shapeshifting from lizard to human form is great for controlling Earth so you can mine gold to save your dying homeworld, but it’s not so great for your skin. When you’re juggling appointments and global depopulation deadlines, you don’t have time for an exhaustive skincare regime, especially after you’ve been up all night sodomising infants on a blood-soaked altar.

That’s why there’s new Hypoallergenic Shapeshifting Lizard Skin Cream, for the hard-working reptilian overlord who wants to crush the human race AND look great. Revitalise dry cracked scales with the nutrifying formula, penetrating your watertight, abrasive epidermis with vitamin-enriched micro-molecules. Never again spend hours removing crusty nodules from your armoured eyelids or sandblasting your segmented underbelly.

Instead, spend your life-cycle on the things that really matter to you: eating babies, manipulating financial markets and basking on rocks in the warm glow of Earth’s home star. Whichever form you’ve taken, simply lather the cream onto tough lizard scales or weak and thin human tissue. The vitamin E rich formula gets to work fast, leaving your external membrane hard, reinforced and radiant. Start each day with that “just-shed-skin” feeling!

What's not to love!!!

United Kingdom-- £2.50 GBP

Everywhere Else-- £5.50 GBP
$9.04 USD

"I am the bride at every funeral, the corpse at every wedding."-- Brother Theodore
I had a job trading bits for pieces.
We made Wrinkles-- advertised them as Creases.
(This post was last modified: 11-27-2012 05:48 AM by Monkeyfister.) Quote this message in a reply
Advertisement

LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 130884
11-26-2012 08:34 PM

 



Post: #2
RE: Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream-- For The Reptilian With Everything...
You're confused. Reptilians do not "shape-shift". They are physical beings. Only spirits possess the ability to morph into different forms of being.
Quote this message in a reply
Monkeyfister
CENSORED
User ID: 55750
11-26-2012 09:19 PM

Posts: 3,998



Post: #3
RE: Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream-- For The Reptilian With Everything...
Bump

"I am the bride at every funeral, the corpse at every wedding."-- Brother Theodore
I had a job trading bits for pieces.
We made Wrinkles-- advertised them as Creases.
Quote this message in a reply
ZZ Tilt
As Above So Typo
User ID: 117642
11-26-2012 09:22 PM

Posts: 3,530



Post: #4
RE: Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream-- For The Reptilian With Everything...
lol

Great find, 5*

Quote this message in a reply
LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 106214
11-26-2012 09:23 PM

 



Post: #5
RE: Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream-- For The Reptilian With Everything...
LoP Guest  Wrote: (11-26-2012 08:34 PM)
You're confused. Reptilians do not "shape-shift". They are physical beings. Only spirits possess the ability to morph into different forms of being.

or so you believe
Quote this message in a reply
Monkeyfister
CENSORED
User ID: 99872
11-27-2012 02:25 AM

Posts: 3,998



Post: #6
RE: Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream-- For The Reptilian With Everything...
Bump

For the evening crowd.

"I am the bride at every funeral, the corpse at every wedding."-- Brother Theodore
I had a job trading bits for pieces.
We made Wrinkles-- advertised them as Creases.
Quote this message in a reply
Monkeyfister
CENSORED
User ID: 99872
11-27-2012 03:26 AM

Posts: 3,998



Post: #7
RE: Shape-Shifting Lizard Skin Cream-- For The Reptilian With Everything...
For humor's sake kids-- Just LOOK at it!!!

"I am the bride at every funeral, the corpse at every wedding."-- Brother Theodore
I had a job trading bits for pieces.
We made Wrinkles-- advertised them as Creases.
Quote this message in a reply












Contact UsConspiracy Forum. No reg. required! Return to TopReturn to ContentRSS Syndication

Valid XHTML 1.0 Transitional Valid CSS 2.1