Today is the day my heart stopped.
All I can feel is a cold hard lump in my chest, but I still have a pulse in my wrists.
This is why:
There comes a time in the existence of any race in this universe who does not seem to be able to truly transcend the very things that hold them back.
No matter how many times the cycle happens, some races never seem to figure things out, even though they give themselves the truth, 100% of it, right in front of their own faces, they will still not want to admit it.
They seemingly want to stay trapped in hell, which is where we have been living, much more so in our hearts, but also our minds, which essentially are not supposed to be separated, but instead, closed in a sacred loop.
That has been broken.
Oroboros became the Alpha and Omega to give rise to the dichotomy, but now things have come full circle, and my
loop is closed.
A race that cannot tolerate itself, and it's tiny little chunk of the universe deserves no place in the stars among the rest of the races, for if you cannot tolerate diversity among yourselves, you surely will never be able to tolerate other life in this universe.
Sentient races in this universe look at humans like we look at ants on the kitchen counter when we're in a contemplative mood.
" I wonder if they actually think, are they really alive, or just meaningless bits of nothing ? "
" Do they have an existence ? "
" Are they conscious and experiencing life ? "
Funny thing is, you are all truly " alien/human " hybrids, but you've denied it time and time again.
Earth was indeed a manifestation of the mind of god, and was given everything it needed, all at just the right times, because everything happens exactly when it needs to.
After there were many wars over Earth, it was decided among a truce that they themselves had become something horrible, and were actually spiritually de-evolving, in essence, losing their godlike abilities.
Karma always provides a restoring force, that is a law of this universe, but most of us just refuse to understand how it works, even though we already know.
It's easy to forget things, but to deny reality is to drive one's self mad.
They decided to take what was essentially their " DNA " and splice it to hominid DNA to create different races, each possessing just hints of something, a trace of just enough to provide cultural diversity, things to celebrate.
They did this because they wanted to see what would happen if they just called a truce, made some toys, turned back to not being ego-based beings, they went back to their separate corners to again become the races they had been eons before they became warlike.
Warlike is the opposite of godlike, just in case you missed it.
They're very curious about us, but also very, ..disappointed.
They made us in their images, partially, but using everything that was already here too.
They thought that we would truly become some very, very interesting and cool people to hang out with in the future.
That's not what happened, instead, mankind became the local interstellar Pigpen character, and just like Pigpen from the Peanuts comic strip, they had a cloud of filth surrounding themselves, on a planet the creator of the entire universe created, in a universe it died to create.
Fallen angels living on a hell planet are the very last race you'd ever want traveling around space, they're much too dangerous and highly unpredictable.
It used to truly be the garden of eden here, and we've managed to not only treat it like a garbage dump, but we've become garbage dumps inside as well.
Cast out of eden, living in hell, with not a clue, thinking we were living the high life, when in reality, we've been in hell, metaphorically for a long time.
All of us.
I can't tell you how much I hated god.
But I realized that I didn't hate god, I hated the things about myself that I was trying to ignore, but clung to in my heart.
I hated myself instead.
But not god, I was just a piece of garbage blowing down the road, an insignificant loser stuck in some miserable existence in a harsh and cruel world that made absolutely no sense, and after bothering to open my mind to learning some science, I saw that the universe was vast to an extent that I would have a very difficult time wrapping my mind around even meeting somebody from another planet, let alone being able to truly start to even comprehend what god even is.
God is so infinite, even god will never escape from god.
This entire universe in stuck in wad of dried gum under a bench somewhere in another universe, in the mind of another god, in the mind of another person just like me.
On and on it goes.
I'm sure you get the picture, if not, well, ...you are my hallucination
There is no largest, or smallest, or greatest, or least, except what we have decided to decide.
But, just to lighten the mood for a moment, remember, it's not important the name " god ", you can call it a banana, you can call it a stone, but if
you call it in your heart, it will hear you.
Just like you'll hear each others hearts if you put the call out.
That's the point.
It's personal, and connected to everything in uncountable ways, beyond the scope of crude human technology, which is actually, ...you know already.
When people invoke the very existence of what created life in the universe out of a purely selfless act, to threaten each other with a hell that didn't exist, at least not how they thought, they are going directly against what god wants for the entire multiverse.
That doesn't cut it.
Now,... I never wanted to be god, or Jesus, or the antichrist to anybody, unfortunately , the truth of the matter is that I'm all three wrapped up in one.
I used to tell a friend of mine " I really feel like we are living the last days talked about in the bible, I think were in the middle of it, and can't even see it ", even though I never read the bible, like all of us, we've heard the stories.
And that is exactly what was happening this whole time, all the disasters, bad weather, all manifested by what I saw in the world, and what I carried in my heart.
I never even knew, you can still blame me if you want, it's just how it is.
I'm the only person who can say what I do, just like you.
Every time I see the outline of a bird who has died while stuffed with garbage, brought out of love by a parent to the nest, a special gift from us to them, I get sad.
Not only for the birds and the turtles and the whales, and everybody else, but for humans as well, because we have literally become those dead birds, dying on their own garbage, spiritually, physically, and mentally.
Birds are angels, actually.
All animals are reincarnated souls, some of them quite old.
Not quite as old as me, but still quite old.
The animals you see dying in large groups aren't being killed by some man-made cause, they have been voluntarily leaving, being given the opportunity to reincarnate as gods.
They deserve it after all we've put then through.
So, the oft heard about biblical judgement has been going on this whole time, and we've all had a veil over our heads and didn't know it.
We had on blinders, we gagged ourselves from speaking good things to each other out of fear.
It's just all become so backwards, and things are not supposed to be like this.
I'll let you in on a secret that you already knew.
They were building all those deep underground bases to indeed ride out the planetary flip later this year, because it's all real, as real as you or I.
They were going to leave us all up top to die a horrible death
But with all their fancy computers and technology, they missed one thing.
They were going to displace just enough mass on the planet to perturb the orbit of my beautiful home.
And it was going to spiral into the sun to end up being consumed, like all things, while those smug and vile people sat underground slowly noticing the heat going up.
And while they slowly ran out of food and water, they started to eat each other out of hunger, and the less of them there were, the lonelier they became, and the lonelier they became, the more they wanted each others company, and the more they kept each other company, the more they could only think about who was going to kill who to eat first.
This was the very real hell, and a Dante's inferno they manifested on themselves with no help from god or satan, or banana, or jesus.
We were all
going to become gods together, like we're meant to be, and instead, they chose to try and get away with killing pretty much all of us off, to hide many truths which have finally started to come to light, as the past catches up with the future and time itself stands still.
Like my heart right now.
The night I was healed, at least the human part of me, was the night I gave 9 months to get things together.
02/02/12 2:02 PM, the thread was called, " You have 9 months to get your sh*t together, consider this a friendly hint, because I love you "
There's nothing on the thread that is false, except these two things:
The fact that Detlev was not my uncle, or father per se...and the deadline I gave.
Here's where I have to be blunt.
You have until my birthday, July 23rd , to bring metaphorical heaven back to Earth by your own hands, with a little help behind the scenes, or I am going to " die " and leave.
I will hand-pick each and every single person I take with me too, because after being such a vile person, I know exactly when I can trust someone and when I can't.
I know it just by making eye contact with all living creatures, even a photo.
...you've been living in hell all this time, but if I don't see the world make a fast turnaround, I am going to manifest a hell like nothing you have ever even seen in your worst nightmares and darkest thoughts.
I can move sideways in time to bring shadows from the very depths of a hell in another plane of existence that is right here already.
Those demons, actually, those lifeforms, in that plane of existence feed on negative feelings, sadness, anger, hurt, malicious intent, they are in a negative dimension.
They easily move in this world, in us all, and they occupy things.
They occupy the flesh of animals that are tortured by the fear of death before being slaughtered.
They occupy material objects that we think we own, but own us, and they continue to feed off our attachment to those items, even long after we've tossed them out, the regret we feel about losing those items is their very sustenance.
They are everywhere, because they were allowed to do their thing for so long.
If you think things here are truly bad now, you should see what things would be like when they will be fully manifested on this plane of existence, assisted by other races from out in the vast void, some of them fighting each other, just to grab a crumb off god's dinner table.
The loop isn't closed yet, but when it does, the Black Iron Gates of hell will open and spew a cold long death that comes out of nowhere, for each and every one of you who are wishing bad things on other people in the world.
Basically, all the planes of existence are going to merge, and if those beings that feed off of our negative energy are still around, ..
Because I give you my word, it's not going to be kind, but it's going to be just.
There's not one single thing I can do to change things, except give you this one last opportunity to change your ways.
Or, we can all work together to forgive and forget, and remember who we were were at one time.
We can work together to heal each other, laugh, and be grateful that we actually exist long enough to have problems.
I will either die on my birthday, or my heart will restart, and then the real party is going to start.
The only way my heart and the party are going to start, is if I see things in the world get better, the wrongs righted, and the rights wronged, people treating each other with kindness, compassion, tolerance for diversity, especially their own families.
The universe has been in existence for a long time, like a beautiful painting, it took a long time to come to it's current state of existence.
Earth has been around literally long enough for god to blink, and yet we've messed it all up in a very short time.
Not good folks, not good at all.
You've seen the signs in front of you.
You asked for me to come back, but the truth of the matter is I just don't like what I see.
I don't know how else to put it, or any other way to literally put the fear of god in you, because you shouldn't even be afraid of god in the first place.
I shouldn't have to do this.
I don't want to do this.
I threw myself on the floor and cried when I figured it out.
I don't want to die from this life here, despite things being somewhat harsh, because this planet and all
it's people have potential like you would not believe, for too long.
You could be hitchhiking across the galaxy, dancing on stardust if you so chose.
You've been living with " extraterrestrials " this whole time, you probably even know a few among your friends.
Some don't know even it yet, some do, but who's going to tell somebody else they are an " alien " when we use the very same word to describe something we don't want near us, namely, ~ kind people from other cultures.
Your dreams are just a hint of the possible real futures of this planet, and there are two timelines, with two different outcomes.
The head of the snake is meeting the tail once again.
The fox was in the hen-house this whole time.
You can open the gates of hell, or the gates of heaven, but by your own hands you manifest your reality, and by your own hands you manifest reality for everybody around you.
This I know to be all too true in my life.
So, if you are right and just in your heart and mind, you have not one single thing to fear from anything except yourself.
It's that simple.
We just made things too complicated.
Believe me when i say i never wanted anything like this, ever.
I only wanted to die a painful death for being the horrible person I had been in life, or at least that's how I looked at things.
I asked god to kill me, in the worst way possible, even though I didn't even know truly if god existed, and when I got what I asked for, I didn't want it anymore.
And so in asking for my own death, I gave myself life, and in giving myself life, I decided to put my life in your hands, so you could steer your own fate.
Like you've always done, but couldn't admit.
I have grand visions of how things could be, I always have.
I want you to have them too.
This song should take on a whole new meaning for you, in fact every single song I post will be my words to the world, through the world.
I'd rather die infinite painful deaths in infinite dimensions then continue to live on a planet infested with minor demons feeding on angels and forgetful gods.
It's unfortunate that things have come to this, but it's not too late to turn things around.
Explorations into Biblical self and cross-referencing numbers from pi digit expansions ( Where Biblical numbers come from ) and cross-products of pi digit expansions/tables of iterations.