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Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
03-11-2018 10:15 PM

 



Post: #16
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
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Do you talk to a psychiatrist?

Do you get SSI?
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Upside Down
Registered User
User ID: 1337
03-11-2018 10:26 PM

Posts: 13,070



Post: #17
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
Hugs
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
03-11-2018 10:28 PM

 



Post: #18
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
Ui’lani87  Wrote: (03-11-2018 03:31 PM)
Well I’m not saying that I am normal I can totally accept that I am a total anomaly a survivor and a warrior at times to irrational and impulsive but not crazy. Mom was addicted to coke real dad a closet gay man adopted dad an abusive alcoholic but never touched me sexually and I call my step dad my dad he did legally adopt me and kick my mom out tell she quit cocaine well while my mom was out and about I was being baby sat by a four hundred pound pedofile. He raped me daily performed oral sex on me and fashioned penis out of play dough bought me barbies to not tell any one this went on for two years. I finally told my aunt who had verbal Paul’s about what was going on and she told her mom and her school and next thing I know I’m removed postive Sperm matching JR DNA and he was slapped with probation. I was in six different foster homes from 5-6 years old and of them 4 sexually assulted me and 5 beat my ass for wetting to bed something could not help as I am a victim of sexual brutality it took me to eleven years old to stop wetting to bed. That last foster home was such wonderful
Peoples a good family I really wish I could remember the names I know it was in south point Hawaii on a beautiful ranch such a loving soft spoken mother can’t remeber what the foster dad was like but I know he treated his family very good. At six years old Virgina Isabel helped my mom
Get me back. Do I resent her for doing so? Hell yes because what should have been enough sexual abuse I suffered through was only the ice berg the beginning of my trauma and abuses. Mom decided that I needed to be labeled disabled, she gave me some cosine and then I think speed of pharmacy grade I remember the first time she dosed me up I was an infant and she was horney and wanted to f*#k some random guy and get high with him. God the things I’ve been through I will give my life to make sure my kids do not suffer through similar things. Mom died two years ago and I told her I forgive her but I’m still learning to I guess her mom was allot worse then here. Stripper alcoholic leaved her kids alone with known child abusers for long periods of time. Moms real dad as a fire man who fell off 8 story steal later and was addicted to Vicodin ( stuff don’t help me at all not even 20) but I am on opioids no comment as to which and I don’t think I would have ever allowed the doctors to prescribed me these if I knew my life would crumble and surrounding about having my pain meds. Can not sleep no pain meds. Can not get off the toilet no mater if I never eat means I have no pains meds. Can not do anything g but try to figure out how to obtain pain meds well the doctors hooked me and cut me for being robbed. See doctors create these heroin epidemic by cutting true chronic pain suffers like myself off most times it’s because age I’m to young being 30 years d is like a crime to hurt this badly. 1999 I had my first operation and in 2011 I had ovarian cancer I wanted to get every thing removed what does this have
To do with my mom? Everything see she forced me on birth control at 11 I had my period and stuff it stopped it it stopped me from growing she would wrap my feet so they don’t grow they are size five to six even though
I’m
30 years old I’ve been in menopause for two years now because I needed to have all of my cancerous tissues removed Ovarian and utirine cancer positive BRCA 1&2 gene mutation first grandpa Rick died from testicular cancer and then my mom died from
Pulmonary embolism button sister fought the
Corinor To put Morphine Overdose but the nurse Said She had Zero trace and I was never brought to see her body so having a hard time emotionally to
Let her go even though so much travesty came upon me by her being my motjer. But honestly I loved my mother so much that I would be so anixous at
School worried about her want go home longing to be hm with
HeR she constantly over
Dowsed on Tylenol 3
And NyQuil
Wrote
Suicide notes and never was successful Beacause
I tried to be there very moment
So much
So
I allow d her
To make me ill sympathy l ad to money hitch led to greed hitch led to distruction. Today I stole a gun to seal revenge
On some
One
Who robbed my husband which snowballs into many being hurt
But
My best friend stopped
Me
I was
Pissed
But
You

Know what it’s a good thing I never lay a finger in the ones who assaulted me they ashould be a shamed of attacking me being in very tiny and sick and already have so
Much pain now it’s so bad I can’t even sleep and I’m so tired of being me but Imdont even know who I am any more.

First you steal a gun, then you say that your friend stopped you, then you say it's a good thing you never lay a finger on the ones who assaulted you and they should be ashamed.

You need in-house long term rehab.
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Ui’lani87
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User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 01:39 PM

Posts: 269



Post: #19
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
They are In custody now they are not my friend never met them in my life they assaulted and robbed me so they will be lock up
Where they belong I have lupus dimWhit educate your self I am not a drug addict I am medicating to live a normality one usually can not aspertain having terminal illness so stop projecting your need for AA NA and regard on me drug war has always been a depopulation agenda
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 03:37 PM

 



Post: #20
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
Some of us have endured a lifetime of horrific trials and as sad as it is, your story is very much like mine. We are a different type of person that thankfully most are incapable of understanding. Physical, mental and sexual abuse and surrounded by death and disease are the things we know.

However, the thing that saved me is the fact that I never got into "medicating." Having control over your mental facilities is the only thing I could control that others could not take. That is dignity whereas detoxing and being freaked over your next fix is the opposite of dignity.

I wish you all the best and hope you figure out that you can gain control if you want to.
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Ui’lani87
Registered User
User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 04:20 PM

Posts: 269



Post: #21
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
LoP Guest  Wrote: (03-12-2018 03:37 PM)
Some of us have endured a lifetime of horrific trials and as sad as it is, your story is very much like mine. We are a different type of person that thankfully most are incapable of understanding. Physical, mental and sexual abuse and surrounded by death and disease are the things we know.

However, the thing that saved me is the fact that I never got into "medicating." Having control over your mental facilities is the only thing I could control that others could not take. That is dignity whereas detoxing and being freaked over your next fix is the opposite of dignity.

I wish you all the best and hope you figure out that you can gain control if you want to.

I’m good, I’m ok I like to be in control of my destiny as much as possible thank you for your kind regards aloha and mahalos

[Image: sUeat0u.png]
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Ui’lani87
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User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 04:23 PM

Posts: 269



Post: #22
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
I’m in legit pain.
I have never got a fix, rush or a high from my pain meds.







[Image: 65T9Hj2.png]
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 04:24 PM

 



Post: #23
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
LoP Guest  Wrote: (03-11-2018 03:34 PM)
tl;dr
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Ui’lani87
Registered User
User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 04:33 PM

Posts: 269



Post: #24
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
So don’t tell me I can’t have relief one way or another I am going to get it.
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PioneerSpirit
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User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 04:42 PM

Posts: 10,631



Post: #25
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
Heartflowers Hugs Heartflowers Hugs Heartflowers
I share some of your health issues.
You aren't alone.
It gets hard.
I have to say ... yours is heavier cross.
Thinking of you ...

"They notice that you notice" - Mothman Prophecies doomed

A tradition cannot make an historical claim and then refuse to have it evaluated by history
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 05:31 PM

 



Post: #26
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
Sorry to hear you're in so much pain...and nobody should feel ashamed or guilty for taking pain meds when needed...the hard part is not getting addicted to (so many of) them
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Damrod
lop guest
User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 05:43 PM

 



Post: #27
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
Well since you never get to see things like this, Maybe this will help you "chill"...

This is a pic of what my back yard looked like this morning

[Image: f41yrr.jpg]
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GreenGrassMan420
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User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 09:53 PM

Posts: 274



Post: #28
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
LoP Guest  Wrote: (03-12-2018 04:24 PM)
LoP Guest  Wrote: (03-11-2018 03:34 PM)
tl;dr
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 10:00 PM

 



Post: #29
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
Ui’lani87  Wrote: (03-12-2018 01:39 PM)
They are In custody now they are not my friend never met them in my life they assaulted and robbed me so they will be lock up
Where they belong I have lupus dimWhit educate your self I am not a drug addict I am medicating to live a normality one usually can not aspertain having terminal illness so stop projecting your need for AA NA and regard on me drug war has always been a depopulation agenda

bless you, hon. I really hope that your life, heart, mind, and body become radiantly whole and happy. as strong as you are -- I think this will happen. you will make it happen because you are one tough good woman.
Heartflowers Heartflowers Heartflowers Heartflowers Heartflowers Heartflowers

even warriors need some flowers now and then.

go to the beach and breathe.
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
03-12-2018 10:01 PM

 



Post: #30
RE: Had a bad day need to vent need a hug need a job that oays
Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs Hugs and LOTS OF HUGS!

National Hero
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