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I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
Romance Laughter
Registered User
User ID: kaput
04-17-2018 12:26 AM

Posts: 87



Post: #1
I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
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Q: What do you call a letter from a feminist?
A: Hate male.

Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
>: It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.


Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
> Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway and that even if she didn't, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.

Q: How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It's not the light bulb that needs changing.

My girlfriend is a feminist.
>: Which basically means she finds sexist jokes utterly abhorrent until one is made about men.

Feminism: Strong, smart, and independent...
>: Until things get a little bit difficult.

Q: What's the male equivalent of a feminist?
A: A sexist.

Q: What do you call a happy feminist?
A: I'll let you know if I ever see one.

Q: How do you confuse a feminist?
A: Tell her that you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.

Q: Why don't feminist's go to the gym?
A: Because it has a male name.

I take my hat off to militant feminists...
>: They don't like that.

Q: What's the first question during a feminist quiz night?
A: What are you looking at?


Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Twelve:
  • One to screw it in.
  • One to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination.
  • One to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination.
  • One to suggest the whole "screwing" bit to be too "rape-like".
  • One to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic.
  • One to blame men for not changing the bulb.
  • One to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it.
  • One to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs.
  • One to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs.
  • One to advocate that light bulb changers should have wage parity with electricians.
  • One to alert the media that women are now "out-lightbulbing" men.
  • One to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary.
So you're a feminist…
>: Isn't that cute.

Q: What's the difference between a baby and a feminist?
A: At some point in it's life, a baby will grow up and stop crying.
(This post was last modified: 04-17-2018 04:19 AM by Romance Laughter.) Quote this message in a reply
Romance Laughter
Registered User
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:19 AM

Posts: 87



Post: #2
RE: Jokes
Tough audience
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Homer Simpson
Homer's University of GREATNESS
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:29 AM

Posts: 4,315



Post: #3
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
What's the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go into a store without Robin.

Sarcastic1

"Go with the flow, like a twig on the shoulders of a mighty stream" Del Griffith

[Image: GRdp1cj.png]
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:31 AM

 



Post: #4
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild? Money.

A man driving a car hits a woman. Whose fault is it? The man's. Why was he driving in the kitchen?

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

Q: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
A: About fifty pounds.

How do you get a dishwasher to dig a hole? Give the woman a shovel!
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2am Breathe
Registered User
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:35 AM

Posts: 3,937



Post: #5
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
Question: How many body jumpers does it take to abuse a human?

Answer: All of them.


Question: How can you tell when a body jumper is lying?

Answer: It looks like a human...



I have a bunch of 'funny jokes'.. wanna hear more?
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2am Breathe
Registered User
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:38 AM

Posts: 3,937



Post: #6
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
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2am Breathe
Registered User
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:40 AM

Posts: 3,937



Post: #7
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
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LopDude
۩ Meow ۩
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:45 AM

Posts: 4,721



Post: #8
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.

At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.


Daughter: „Mom, can I get a cat or a dog at Christmas, please?“

Mom: „No honey, you will be getting turkey, like every Christmas!“


I Googled "how to start a wildfire".

I got 48,500 matches.

[Image: np57gsp-gif.3372]
[Image: ouaplda7ef3.gif]
Iam in no way in support of articles i post.
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:45 AM

 



Post: #9
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
How many solace mental whack off threads does it take to get old?

Always just one more! Bigkiss
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LopDude
۩ Meow ۩
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:51 AM

Posts: 4,721



Post: #10
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
“You da bomb!”

“No, you da bomb!”

In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.


Hearing voices in your head is normal. Listening to them is quite common. Arguing with them – acceptable. It is only when you lose that argument that you get in real trouble.


A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail. He stands at the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
-
A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, “I’m four! I’m four!"

[Image: np57gsp-gif.3372]
[Image: ouaplda7ef3.gif]
Iam in no way in support of articles i post.
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:52 AM

 



Post: #11
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
Homer Simpson  Wrote: (04-17-2018 04:29 AM)
What's the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go into a store without Robin.

Sarcastic1

what were batman and robin called after they were run over ?
flatman and ribbon .
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:54 AM

 



Post: #12
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

chuckle
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 04:56 AM

 



Post: #13
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.

After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"

The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."

The first two guys were amazed. "What happened then?" they asked. "She said, 'get out from under the bed and fight like a man'."
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 05:03 AM

 



Post: #14
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
african not fememist and hahaha Anon oh ups
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 1337
04-17-2018 05:05 AM

 



Post: #15
RE: I'm telling jokes! Come read them!
how many africans does it take to change a lightbulb .... .

none , hahahaha

What are africans on the seafloor .... decoration huhuhuh oh or a nicer view , forgot which one
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