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I am behaving like an abuse victim
LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 398138
05-19-2017 08:41 PM

 



Post: #16
RE: I am behaving like an abuse victim
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lunylunatic  Wrote: (05-19-2017 08:19 PM)
DirtyAnnie  Wrote: (05-19-2017 08:08 PM)
what kind of abuse did you suffer?

isolation, harassment, lack of choices, mind games, i'm just a punching bag to the body jumpers.

90% of the world is really. if your not a bully your an abuse victim .. its a simple as that.. best we can do is smile and move on.. Because we justify who we are..
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LoP Guest
lop guest
User ID: 418751
05-19-2017 08:51 PM

 



Post: #17
RE: I am behaving like an abuse victim
lunylunatic  Wrote: (05-19-2017 08:19 PM)
DirtyAnnie  Wrote: (05-19-2017 08:08 PM)
what kind of abuse did you suffer?

isolation, harassment, lack of choices, mind games, i'm just a punching bag to the body jumpers.

Why did you tolerate it?

I remember the first time my father actually smacked me for something. He tripped over my dog and I said something like "watch where you're walking, you big bozo." He had just woken up and it was Saturday morning. Bozo was something that was on teevee back at that time. I think I was 13 or 14. Anyhow, he came after me and got one good punch in before I escaped and started swearing up a storm cussing at him and trying to get him to come at me some more. I grabbed a bat by the front door where I had left it after coming inside the day before. I wanted him to come after me now. I don't know why? Maybe I wanted to get a slug in too, maybe I was super pissed. Anyhow, I ran out into the front yard and started yelling up a storm. "Bring it out here, old man, don't mess up the house. Come hit me again, you f*#k. Come on bozo, let's put on a show for the neighbors. Come on coward, go put your pants on and come teach your son some manners." I was really trying to come up with anything to get him to come outside and do this sh*t .. but he wouldnt. He wanted to, but this was back at the end of the 60s when vanity was everything back then. Everyone put on an image, a show. Fake started in the 60s. I saw my mother's face now through a window upstairs, obviously awoken by the noise. She wasn't concerned about me though. She was looking around at the neighbors house - she looked terrified that someone else might be seeing this. She was probably thinking "oh dear, what will the neighbors think of us, what kind of story can in use to explain all this at our next bridge, wine, & valium party."

I won't bore you with the ending of all this, but my last words to my father that day was essentially, if you ever hit me or anyone else ever again, you're going to need to learn how to sleep with one eye open. That scared him, I could see it in his eyes when I said that. I could also see his anger but WTF was he going to do? He knew starting any sh*t with me would result in a huge f'n scene in the neighborhood and neither of my parents could tolerate that. Everything was about maintaining that fake front everyone maintained back then. Even housewives that got beat would cover it up and smile when they left the house. And you always wore your best cloths you know, anything less would reflect negatively upon your parents. LOL, a lot changed after that confrontation that day.
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